Preparing for Confession – Married Persons

Examination of Conscience for Married Persons
Fr. Thomas Weinandy
The Two Shall Become One: The Sacrament of Reconciliation and Marriage
God calls most men and women to the married vocation. This is a great honor and an immense challenge. To fulfill this
marvelous calling we need Christ’s help; we need his Spirit’s power.
Responsibilities to God:
• Have I gone to Mass every Sunday?
• Have I participated at Mass or
• Have I day dreamed or been present with a blank mind?
• Have I prayed every day (15-20 minutes)?
• Have I read the Bible?
• Have I studied the truths of our faith and allowed them to become more part of the way I think and act?
• Have I read any spiritual books or religious literature?
• Have I told God that I want to love him with my whole heart, mind and strength? Do I hold any resentments toward God?
• Have I recognized my need for Jesus and his salvation?
• Have I asked the Holy Spirit to empower me to live the Christian life, to be a proper husband/wife and parent?
• Have I been financially generous to the Church?
• Have I participated in parish or religious activities?
• Have I held resentments toward the Church or Church authorities? Have I forgiven them?
Responsibilities to my spouse:
• Have I cared for my spouse?
• Have I been generous with my time?
• Have I been affectionate and loving?
• Have I told my spouse that I love him or her?
• Have I been concerned about the spiritual well-being of my spouse?
• Have I listened to my spouse?
• Have I paid attention to his or her concerns, worries, and problems? Have I sought these out?
• Have I allowed resentments and bitterness toward my spouse to take root in my mind? Have I nurtured these?
• Have I forgiven my spouse for the wrongs he or she has committed against me?
• Have I allowed misunderstanding, miscommunication or accidents to cause anger and mistrust?
• Have I nurtured critical and negative thoughts about my spouse?
• Have I manipulated my spouse in order to get my own way?
• Have I tried to bully or overpower my spouse?
• Have I spoken sharply or sarcastically to my spouse?
• Have I spoken in a demeaning or negative way?
• Have I injured my spouse through taunting and negative teasing?
• Have I called my spouse harsh names or used language that is not respectful?
• Have I physically abused my spouse?
• Have I gossiped about my spouse?
• Have I undermined the authority and dignity of my spouse through disrespect and rebelliousness?
• Have I been moody and sullen?
• Have I bickered with my spouse out of stubbornness and selfishness?
• Have I lied or been deceitful to my spouse?
• Have I misused sexuality?
• Have I used sexual relations solely for my own selfish pleasure?
• Have I been too demanding in my desire sexual fulfillment?
• Have I been loving and physically affectionate in my sexual relations or
• Have I used sexual relations in a way that would be demeaning or disrespectful to my spouse?
• Have I refused sexual relations out of laziness, revenge or manipulation?
• Have I refused to conceive children out of selfishness or material greed?
• Have I used artificial means of contraception?
• Have I had an abortion or encouraged others to Have one?
• Have I masturbated? • Have I flirted or fostered improper relationships with someone else, either in my mind or through words and actions?
• Have I committed adultery?
• Have I misused alcohol or drugs?
• Have I been financially responsible?
Responsibilities to children:
• Have I cared for the spiritual needs of my children?
• Have I been a shepherd and guardian as God has appointed me?
• Have I tried to foster a Christian family where Jesus is Lord?
• Have I taught my children the Gospel and the commandments of God?
• Have I prayed with them?
• Have I been persistent and courageous in my training and teaching?
• Have I disciplined them when necessary?
• Have I been lazy and apathetic?
• Have I talked with them to find out their problems, concerns and fears?
• Have I been affectionate toward them?
• Have I hugged them and told them that I love them?
• Have I played or recreated with them?
• Have I been impatient and frustrated with them?
• Have I corrected them out of love in order to teach them what is right and good?
• Have I treated them with respect?
• Have I spoken to them in a sarcastic or demeaning way?
• Have I held resentments against them? Have I forgiven them?
• Have I been of one heart and mind with my spouse in the upbringing of the children? Or have I allowed disagreements
and dissension to disrupt the training, educating and disciplining of our children?
• Have I undermined the role of authority in the eyes of my children by speaking negatively against God, the Church, my
spouse or others who hold legitimate authority over them?
• Have I been a good Christian witness to my children in what I say and do? Or do I demand on standard for them and
another for myself?
• Have I been properly generous with my children regarding money and physical and material well-being?
• Have I been miserly?
• Have I been extravagant, thus spoiling them?
Responsibilities to society & others::
• Have I been a Christian witness to those with whom I work or associate?
• Have I spoken to anyone about the Gospel and how important it is to believe in Jesus?
• Have I held resentments and anger against those with whom I work, relatives or friends? Have I forgiven them?
• Have I been unethical in my business dealings?
• Have I stolen or lied?
• Have I allowed the Gospel to influence my political and social opinions?
• Have I had a proper Christian concern for the poor and needy?
• Have I paid my taxes?
• Have I fostered or nurtured hatred toward my “political” enemies, either local, national or international?
• Have I been prejudiced toward others because of race, color, religion or social status?
Copyright, Fr. Thomas Weinandy.

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